The Dalek Invasion Survival Guide
by Dman5002
Summary: Welcome to my second fanfiction, The Dalek Invasion Survival Guide! It has everything from Dalek Info to COMBAT! This could save your life! Please leave reviews and tell me if any information is incorrect! Thanks!
1. Top 15 Evasive Strategies

The Dalek Invasion Survival Guide

Welcome, everyone to The Dalek Invasion Survival Guide. This guide could save your life when Daleks invade Earth. As we all know, Daleks kill entire planets. They have no emotions or feelings except for hate- lots of hate. As we know already, Daleks use cannons that electrocute you to your death. They usually yell from their electronic voice (from their armor since they have no vocal cords), "EXTERMINATE" right before they fire. Daleks are living creatures inside a machine that gives them armor, weapons, and life. They originated from Skaro, and they fought the Time Lords in the Last Time War, leaving all the time lords except for the Doctor (as far as we know) and the Daleks (except for few who have breeded) in a time lock. Now, the Daleks have the Doctor as their greatest enemy, and they have been feared of through time and space.

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><p><span>Basic Dalek Evasion<span>

These are the first basic ways for you to avoid any Dalek.

1.** RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!**

2. Don't check out what it is, because even if you didn't know it was a Dalek, it would still be stupid to go look at something that was **TRYING TO KILL YOU!** This has led to many deaths.

3. IF YOU DO GET AWAY, **DON'T KEEP A DALEK HOSTAGE! IT NEVER WORKS!**

4. Always partner up with a friend that you can easily outrun.

5.** NEVER STOP AND STARE AT IT! THERE IS ABOUT AN EDUCATED GUESS OF 1 in 150 DALEKS HAVE A SMALL BIT OF EMOTIONS OR FEELINGS. **

6. Don't try and ride them as a pony or try to possess it for our own evil plans. Remember it is a living thing inside a machine. You can't "override the robot" if it's not a robot to begin with!

7. If the Dalek is hurt or injured, **DO NOT TOUCH IT!**

7.** NEVER EVER EVER** try to shoot it! Not even a modern day gun could even come close to penetrating a **DALEK'S ARMOR!**

8. Never try to negotiate with a Dalek. That's like suicide. They have no emotions or feelings. They honestly won't care what your reason is.

9.** NEVER BREED WITH A DALEK OR BREED A DALEK WITH ANY OTHER LIVING ORGANISM! **I have never heard of it happening, but it's still a safe call to say this.

10. Never attempt to run over a Dalek or crush it with anything. They can teleport.

11. If you have escaped the Dalek, don't stop or look back, just keep going. It's Life or Death.

12. Don't call for help. It is obvious that Daleks have invaded and they have probably all died or evacuated by then anyway, or else they are too busy with 1,000 other calls to be dealing with yours.

13. DON'T GO SHOPPING! Shops and Stores are main spots for Daleks because many people are around those city areas. And don't go shopping for a gun, because as you know it will not harm a Dalek.

14. Always Remember: Run First, Fight if Last Resort.

15. If you are running away, don't go back for a loved one, because they have probably already died.

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><p>Those are the top 15 evasive rules for getting away from the Daleks. Next time you will see combat strategies and more. And remember: This guide can save your life.<p>

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><p>(<strong>What did you think? Please Review and correct me on any incorrect facts!)<strong>


	2. Traits, Don'ts, and Rare Daleks

Some Dalek Character Traits and Some Things NOT to Do

Today I will be telling you about some basic Dalek Character Traits and things you shouldn't do.

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><p>- Most Daleks Do Not Have Feelings and Will<strong> ALWAYS<strong> go for the kill.

- Daleks **HATE** Cheese. If you have any cheese nearby they will go on a killing RAMPAGE. Our Human/Dalek Relationship Tests showed that with no cheese a Dalek kills the human, and with cheese the Dalek goes crazy, kills all the scientists and half of Indiana.

- It is hard to penetrate their eye with a paintball gun, etc. They can just clean it off.

Negotiating with a Dalek is Impossible. Just run.

- It is impossible to try and impersonate a Dalek because Daleks have advanced technology to decipher who you are. Also, it's hard to fake that kind of voice; due to the fact humans have grammar errors such as "um" or "like".

- Don't try and ride the Dalek like a pony. They have fully rotatable guns and most likely another Dalek with them. Please, don't be stupid.

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><p><span>Signs of a Leader Dalek or Dalek With Feelings<span>

- If you aren't running (which is stupid) and the Dalek is just staring at you, it might have feelings. It is a guarantee if it just walks off. Daleks usually just shoot and move on. If you can negotiate somewhat (although do not try unless they start) with them than they might have feeling but still use it for a bad way. The rare Dalek with feelings or emotions doesn't automatically become an ally, so take an equal amount of caution and RUN!

- A leader Dalek tends to stand out, have a slightly different voice, different awareness, and sometimes a different paint when the rest look the same. The other Daleks look to it for orders, etc. That's all there really is on that part.

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><p>Tune in to the next chapter (Not sure when I will post it, I've been busy!) for more tips and facts!<p> 


	3. Distraction Animals & Pets

The Theory of Training Animals to Fight Daleks

There has been a theory that you can train pets/animals to fight Daleks as you run away screaming like a little baby. The 'fight' part is not true. The 'annoy the living crap out of and distract it' part is. Today I will be telling you about picking an animal to distract a Dalek while, like I said earlier, you runaway screaming like a little baby (which is fine because it keeps you alive, although the scream is unnecessary!).

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><p>Dog – Can have annoying bark. Not the best idea. Usually not your pet because you love it too much, but if your wife has a chiwawa it would make for a good throwing object, but no distraction pet.<p>

Cat – This is again, a good throwing object, but no distraction pet.

Rhinoceros – This is the best possible animal to distract a Dalek, because it can charge it, the Dalek gets freaked out, runs, blasts it and you're out of sight.

Hippopotamus – Only if you can throw it would this be a good animal to use.

Horse – Possibly if it were attached to explosives. This could also work with donkeys like they do in the Middle East (I think).

Cow – It would be a good animal if it could run, but sadly it can't unless it's a bull.

Bull (in response to cow) – A great distraction animal if its senses tell it to kill Daleks!

Human – The best distraction animal because humans are smart enough to hatch a plan. Shoot it with stuff in the eye to make it mad and then ride it like a pony. I tell you not to because this is a SURVIVAL guide. The distraction human is not meant to survive, thus he will ride it like a pony. Just be sure you're not the human picked for the distraction. Hire a gothic person or trick a redneck or something in to doing it for you.

Blogillman – This is by far the best pet to use if it can run. You'd have to read _Letters to the Doctor_ to find out what one is, but this is one key pet to have, my friend.

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><p><em><strong>Thank you for reading. This one is also short, so in return next time I will give you some Dalek History that will be funnier and longer! Please review or I will send my pet Rhinoceros and Human after you! <strong>_


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